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Thursday, January 23, 2014

Bitter, Bitter Cold and Trying to Grow Up at 28

In all my time on this earth, it has never been this cold, for this long, and with windchills this low.  We burn wood to heat our house, to heat our water, to do darn near everything because it kills both of us to pay the $1500 a month to big oil to keep this 1832 farmhouse reasonably warm.  We cut wood all summer, and winter hit hard and early.  It's now the 3rd week of January and we had an emergency woodcutting trip last weekend, and one planned despite dangerous temperatures this Saturday.

It's this time of year that I'm fed up with my commute (1 hour one way and almost 54 miles one way), and my husband is fed up with trying to keep the old furnace going, trying to keep the chickens from literally dying from hypothermia, and making sure all our equipment runs.  As much as I hate winter, I think it affects Wood (my husband the most).

It's in January that we both start snapping.  I'm sick, especially this year, of wondering on every commute if this will be the day that cashes out my life insurance policy, and he's sick of feeling like he's not doing right by all of us because we are cold.  I tried telling him last night that I'm not trying to piss and moan, but it IS miserable.  When you live in a house this old, even with new windows, even with some new insulation, all that means nothing when it's -20 with 35 mph winds.  It's just not his fault that its so cold that my car doesn't even get comfortably warm until I'm 45 minutes into my commute, in a brand new car.  It's just bitter cold. Add to that our woodburning furnace has a crack in the top that either needs repaired or the whole dorn thing needs replaced, it's an uphill battle.

I'm trying to be positive, but everything is more difficult.  My hour drive is taking 1 and a half to 2 hours, so by the time I get home and care for the house and the dogs, it's getting dark and the roads are blowing shut.  I want to go see Mamaw, but it's just too darn nasty out.  I guess I'll just wait it out, but the older I get, it seems like the shorter summer gets.

In other news, I have officially lost at least 4 hours of sleep this week worrying about putting a quilt together for my niece.  For some reason, I've worked myself up thinking my machine won't quilt it, or I'll screw it up.  It's just too much money to waste by not thinking it out, but at this point, I think I may attack it and at least get it basted this weekend.  Poor kid will be in college before I get it done if I don't get started.

We are about to finish ordering seeds and such for the garden.  I'm pulling out the asparagus patch because for some reason, we have gotten sick the last 2 times we have eaten asparagus, and putting in rhubarb.  We are not doing near the garden this year as we usually do, because literally every free moment last year we spent canning, and there is just too many other things that need accomplished this year.  Also, I'm not sure where I could stick anymore green beans.  They are hidden all over the house.

Our oldest dog, Dozer, has started on MLS therapy treatments for a bum knee.  I have been looking at some research and came to the conclusion that all the treats I was feeding our babies are nothing short of preserved poison, so I have been making them myself and saving a ton of money. He has arthritis so I learned that cinnamon is good for furbabies that have arthritic joints, and to be honest, the darn things smelled delicious in the stove.

Also, a high point of 2013, we finally got the kitchen almost finished.  Only took 8 years! LOL.  All that's left is some baseboard trim and a back splash.  We never do projects that we don't have money for.  We owe a mortgage, I'll be damned if we will take out another loan to do something to the house.  So things take time.  And things get done with LONG pauses between them, because I'm OCD and I don't like starting something that we will have to wait to finish.  I like the darn kitchen.  We spend more time in our kitchen then any other room.  We both love to cook, and we both compute at the kitchen table.  I just hate sitting in the living room. It's a comfortable room, but I can't cook in there, and there isn't a fridge with bourbon in it. :)

I forgot how much I enjoyed reading all the blogs and writing when the whim struck me.  I recently deleted my Facebook account because it was just too much anymore.  I like seeing folks' updates on their lives, but I felt like for me, it was a waste of time.  There are some dynamics in my family that just don't agree with Facebook anymore.  I like my instagram, but it could be that the only people I am friends with are other people with Boston Terriers.  I just felt like where I am in my life and the things I feel are important right now don't involve Facebook.  And, to be honest, I have issues not being a dumbass sometimes.  I can't blame other people for using social media in a way that I have felt justified using it, if I'm being honest.  I just don't want to be that person anymore.  The one with pushy political posts and rants.  And the last few years have created an atmosphere in my mind where I would and have been that person.  I'm learning (albeit belatedly for some as intelligent as I am, as my momma would say), that for all the things I am capable of, sometimes having a filter and the common sense not to spout off and start wars on Facebook over politics and theology are not some of these things.  Is it embarrassing to admit this about myself?  Oh, as a proud person, yes.  Has it made a difference in how I perceive myself and those around me? Most definitely. So bear with me...If I say something you don't agree with, tell me.  If I come off whiny, tell me. Has anyone else felt like this about Facebook, Twitter, etc?

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