Follow by Email

Friday, February 7, 2014

I Was the Victim of Racism Today

I had to go to the grocery this morning in -11 below weather after taking my stepson to school.  -11 is painful.  Having to go check the furnace and make sure the son of a bitch is still going so we don't freeze...painful.  

I was already in a foul mood due to the miserableness of the cold when I slid to the grocery store.  I had forgotten my list in the rush to corral a 17-year-old out the door so he wouldn't be late.  I have to have a list.  It's too far to come back if I forget something.

So, at 9 am I am wandering through the store, which was pretty empty surprisingly.  My mood started to improve, after all, nothing gets me as excited as an empty grocery store these days.  People are rude, they just stand in the middle of the aisles, it's awful.  I'm sure that's what Hell will be like for me.  People who are in my way, with no sense of purpose.

Halfway through the store, I was patting myself on the back for remembering everything on my list, when it all goes to shit.

Five freakin' kids, with NO coats, mittens, hats OR manners, pillaging the store.  I tried to avoid them, I really did.  I have no filter sometimes, and it's a good thing my husband or dad is almost always around, because sometimes this mouth writes checks it's ass can't cash.

All I wanted was some heavy whipping cream, but these kids were running circles around the cart and whoopin' and hollerin' and I was just like, "Dear God, get me out of here and home before I snatch one of these kids up and lock them in the cooler."

So I stood there patiently, waiting for the woman on her cell phone with 5 terrible miniature people to get the hell out finish perusing and move her lard ass cart so I could buy her damn groceries and mine get some milk. 

I waited...

I waited...

At some point I must have huffed.

This woman takes her bedazzled (with a pot leaf, I might add) phone away from her ear, looks me dead in the eyes...

"What the $@^ you lookin' at whitey!"

Then this lovely woman proceeds to tell whoever is on the other end of her free phone, 

"This cracker-ass mother%&#*& standin' her behind me like I ain't gotta right to look at my choices."

Now, I have not been racist in my life.  My best friend is married to a very nice man, and they have two beautiful children, but so help me God.

After I picked my jaw up off the ground, and prayed to God this woman wasn't packing any kind of weapon...

"Well, this cracker-ass mother%$&#* works every day so you can get your little blue card and pay for your choices!"

She didn't have a damn thing to say, because it is my damn money going to that little blue card so she can by Totino's pizza and Mt. Dew for her five kids.

I wish to God they would load them damn cards up with a tubal ligation at the first of every month.


  1. Okay. I found you thru Dana Joy and I officially love you.


  2. Aww Little Myoo and DFW, I was waiting on the Secret Service or Don King to show up after this post! Love ya'll too!

    Cracker-ass Mother&%^$*#